Monday, November 06, 2006

Veronica Mars

I am inclined to think that any bad review of anything related to Veronica Mars has to have been written by an imbecile. I don't understand how anyone could watch the show and not find it just as brilliant and amazing as I do. I mean, I get the reasoning -- not everyone likes the same stuff, we are all unique people with unique tastes, differences make the world go around, all that jazz -- but I just can't wrap my mind around the idea. It's like trying to imagine how far away the Andromeda galazy is. You can't even begin to picture the size.

I retain a strict (well, strict-ish) policy of only mocking reviews that are truly dumb, rather than reviews that I just don't agree with. I am kind of breaking my own rule with this review, for the first season.

So let's pretend that I'm not mocking the review, but appreciating it. I feel that it needs to be appreciated for having the most artistic use of parentheses ever. Some samples:
Imagine how disappointed I was to discover that as the title of my review states the majority is not always right (I wouldn't want to go into the political implications of such an argument especially in democracies but the concept is very well known and accepted).

(this reflected badly on the main and supporting characters since what is the fun in watching a mystery that one figures out half way through the episode).

. . . once a show fails to grip its audience (through unpredictable and yet reasonable twists and turns) it ends up being a waste of ones time.
Perhaps someone was looking over the reviewer's shoulder yelling, "DAMN IT, M. SALMAN! YOU DON'T HAVE ANYWHERE NEAR ENOUGH OF THOSE FUNNY LITTLE CURVED LINES!" I can't come up with a logical explanation for any such situation, but I'm sure one exists. Maybe our imaginary parentheses Nazi is an aesthetics fachist who believes that a review without parentheses is doomed to hopeless hideousness.

Does that remind anyone of those weird spider things in Perdido Street Station? Since when have the Weavers been writing Amazon reviews?

This review makes me die a little inside:
This show is slow, ignorant, and doesn't deserve to stay on the air. I urge people to stay away from this show and watch good quality shows such as The O.C., One Tree Hill, Law and Order, or some other show that is worth watching. The only words that describe this show is TOTAL CRAP.
If you need me I'll be crying in my crying corner. Yes, I have a special crying corner. It gets a lot of use.

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